The unknown is so bloody frustrating. Been keeping busy with a bit of work and resting on the couch with trashy tv when I can.
Being my last chance ever to do this, I’m certainly feeling a fuckload of emotions and doing my best to power through with every ounce of my being.
I asked hubby if he had a “plan” for me if this doesn’t work ?? He said yes. I’m happy with that. I have no idea how I will respond if we are unsuccessful 😔 ….I’m hoping I’m the opposite, but struggling to keep positive right at this point.
I’m 60% 40% that it’s worked… Which is still good …so scared to hope but not going to stop hoping! Might spray some no.5 for a bit of luck while I’m feeling despondent today.
As my once idol Axl Rose used to say …
Said, woman, take it slow
It’ll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience…🙏🏻
So it’s done…no.5 has been implanted and we wait till 18/4 for result!!!😁😳🙏🏻
Every time I know in my heart if it worked or not. I must admit yesterday worried me a little as it was diff to every other time Ive had a transfer.
Dr walks in with barely a word (thanks dickhead) & shoves his machinery in and says so here’s the clamp, and begins what feels like a jack being lifted on a car wheel?? thanks captain obvious I guessed that. So my bladder is beyond full (last time it wasn’t enough) he spends literally 5 friken minutes poking around in there and no words were spoken? Chick doing ultrasound just kept moving around the wand on my guts.
Was like they couldn’t find the lining? I was trying to relax and kind of holding my breath , my hubby was just watching and then finally the embrologist comes in and they do their thing.
This time they don’t say it’s there in the lining and show us on screen, nor do I see it on the lining myself as I have previously. They say it’s done and ok and leave.
Seriously I get that they all do it differently and the doctor is super smart and feels he is above us normal folk – but would it kill you to give me something during this experience?? Do they just forget along the way that we are human and this experience is pretty fucking emotional for us!
I got up and wanted to pass out, I felt crap after this time and took a while to get back to myself. Did my usual trashy tv afternoon to relax and mum had my lil man.
Anyway, aside from all the above..we are done and now we wait……. The hardest part of it all.
So I have been a little MIA of late. Getting my head right and organised for our last ever FET ON Wed 6/4 😁😁😁😁🙏🏻
I had my last ever ovulation blood test on Sat morn and completely lost it driving home, I was a blubbering mess. Certain songs just set me off then I was done. It was like I had an overwhelming sense of relief that I never have to have another ovulation test and after these next two weeks, never have to deal with IVF ever again. We are emotionally and financially done, done, done!!!
I ovulated day 12 of cycle which is earlier than usual! Got a chakra cleanse on Thursday and hopefully get some magic potion to make this little frostie stick ☺️ just want to know my angels are guiding me through this last leg of this journey, no matter what the outcome.
I like the number 5! I love me a bit of Chanel no5, My birthday is on the 5th day of the 5th month and this will be our 5th transfer over the past 2 years.
Positive thinking is all I can do. I have a funeral tomorrow and my little man has an ear infection and I feel like I’m fighting a cold… But I am not giving up, fighting through all this. I am ready….I got this …
Here’s the song I keep hearing! Old school, but I’m loving it
So ok it’s 5 days post transfer & I’m looking for signs. Give me something that tells me it’s worked….I do believe in spiritual stuff and lord knows I’ve experienced my fair share of psychics 🌟🦄🌈🔮 over the years!
So now I’m focusing my crazy brain that I’m seeing an abnormal amount of butterflies?? I refuse to believe it’s just the season , it’s gotta be a sign right?
Omg this is what this tww does to me, makes me go batshit crazy.
On my very first successful IVF transfer which resulted in my miracle boy, I saw fairies! Not the tinkerbell kind, these kind…
I had no idea these came from a dandelion seed, thanks google!
Here’s to seeing lots of butterflies today ⭐️
So this is it girls, the pose we need after doing our transfers….
That’s not me ! (Thank you google for the image) . I did it last night and it felt great. There’s also this one which helps….
I also did my relaxation with my legs in the air 😜 hey whatever works right!!
I have this chance and one more to create a little family member and a sibling for my miracle boy…I gotta piss of the negative thoughts and keep thinking positively and trying things that work for me and keep me & my crazy brain calm.
It’s only Wednessay! I still have till next Friday 18th…. I haven’t let down my guard get, woohoo feeling strong, still PUPO And feeling positive. I hope this lasts 🙏🏻
Strength, love and hugs to anyone who stumbles across my blog ramblings and is going through the infertility, IVF journey. You are all amazing strong women xxx
Well it’s over 🙏🏻
The two week wait begins and hopefully I can keep busy enough to forget about the pending all important jab.
I am feeling relieved, a little crampy and tired from being anxious about the day.
Today’s a day off work and life, relaxing on the couch watching reality TV.
God I hope this works🦄