Nope :-( 

FET, Frozen embreyo, Getting pregnant, ivf, IVF, Pregnancy, trying to conceive, Uncategorized, unexplained infertility

I’m numb, havent cried yet? I can’t , it just won’t come out.  I don’t know when it will hit me, but I know I’m so disappointed with the end result from lucky no.5.  Turns out she wasn’t so lucky after all.  A big fat fucking negative 😦 

That’s it now, we are done. We are emotionally and financially finished. I have a beautiful miracle nearly 4 year old – who I don’t take for granted ever. He gets told everyday how lucky I feel to have him.

I just hope he is not lonely like I was as a kid, I just have to make sure he has the best life I can possibly give him.

I will still keep an eye on all you girls and your journeys as I cannot thank you all enough for your support during this horrid and emotional rollercoaster journey while I’ve been “typing it out”.

Praying for you all to get your beautiful babies, never give up on your dream 🙏🏻🌺🌟⭐️ xxx 👧🏻

81 thoughts on “Nope :-( ”

  1. Oh no, I am so sorry. That is fucking brutal. I feel your pain and desperation. I’m just starting my journey and so scared of the outcome.
    May you grieve and come to some sort of piece. Hold your little one right. I don’t know you but I wish I could give you a hug. And you know what. Your son isn’t going to grow up and say “my mom and dad didn’t give me a sibling” he will grow up and say “my mom and dad loved me and I had a great childhood”.
    Take care of yourself and your emotions right now.

    Liked by 1 person

    2. That is such a beautiful message thank you so much! This journey Is fucking brutal at times, yet at other times it’s exciting, rewarding and a god damn miracle !?! Does your head in.

      I pray with ALL my heart that your journey is swift and you are blessed with a beautiful little petrie dish miracle ☺️👍🌺🙏🏻 xx I’ll keep my eye on your blog for sure!

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  2. My heart is absolutely broken for you. I’m so so very sorry. You’ve been through so much. You’re a true warrior. There aren’t really any words that will help at this point but I hope you see how incredibly strong you are. I hope you can be proud of what you put yourself through, emotionally, physically, financially. Not everyone is as strong as you are and you came through fighting. I wish you healing and strength during this awful time. We’re sending lots of love and hugs to you and your family xoxo

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    1. Aw thank you beautiful, your words help heaps and yes for sure, I am proud I have given it all I could and still standing (& functioning) on the other side of this journey. Thanks for the love and hugs xxxx🌟🌺☺️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh I am so sorry you got a negative. That is so sad!

    For your son… I just wanted to say, I know a few “onlies” and they are all super close to their parents. So you will have that. I think they’re lucky not to go through the horrible teenage years, or at least my friends didn’t! I always thought they got treated nicely by their parents. And I don’t think a child needs a sibling to be happy. X

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  4. If that came off dismissive, I apologise… I just meant to say that all the only children I knew had really great relationships with their parents. I know this is so horrible for you and IVF is gruelling – I can’t imagine going through it so many times. Sending you hugs. Xx

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  8. I’m so sorry. This shit storm which is infertility tries us over and over again. There’s no fairness in any of it. Be kind to yourself xx

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  9. What heartbreaking news. I empathize with your desire to give your son a sibling. While I have no children yet myself, I would love to have two, as I am so close to my brother.

    Your investment in this process is a testament to how much you love him, and he will always benefit from your love.

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  15. I’m so so sorry for you and your family. I’ve been thinking of you and hoping for the best these last two weeks. Sometimes life takes us in a direction that we don’t expect but what I can promise you is that you have your wonderful child and family so whatever direction you go in it will be with love from them. Give yourself time to grieve and You have the perfect little furry partner to lean on. You also have all of the support on here still. Keep writing and sharing how you are doing. Sending so much love and hugs xxxxxx

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    1. That’s such a beautiful message mate, thanks so very much. My beautiful Lucy lui fur baby is the perfect distraction today☺️ I will definitely keep writing and watching and hoping for everyone. Thank you for the love and hugs gorge 🌺😉🌟❤️ xxx

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  17. Life is so fucking terrible sometimes!! I’m so sorry for such a shiteful result! Don’t be hard on yourself as sometimes the universe deals some awful cards that have no meaning. And don’t feel sad that your little one will be lonely. I think that’s impossible with such a loving family. Anyway, you can have a whole bunch of people around you and still be lonely. Please go and drink all the wine in the world and do cool things and be fantastic. Because you are!! 😘😘😘😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow what an awesome message with some true points there…thank you lovely!! ☺️ I have had a bottle of wine last night, but didn’t go down that well so Ive brought another☺️ I’ll give it a crack Friday night and maybe then it will all sink in xxx🌺xxx

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      1. I think when it comes to the wine you just got to keep trying 😂. Not surprised it didn’t do the job last night – it wouldn’t have helped me either. You need to take your time and feel all the feelings. Don’t fight them as that will make it worse in the long run. Sending loves 💖💖💖

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      2. Haha that’s true. I really should’ve had my trusty Bacardi n Diet Coke, can’t beat that combo. You are so right, I think I need to stop fighting it and let it hurt, let myself feel!! Thanks for the love & support mate 👍🌺 xxxx

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      3. Have them all (maybe not while the sole carer of the small person)!!! You do have to let it hurt, so then you can let it heal. That doesn’t mean it’s any less awful though. xxxxx

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  18. Oh hun 😥 This news makes me so sad for you!! I know you love your wee one with all your heart, but it doesn’t make this crappy journey any easier. He won’t be lonely with such a loving mum – and he will know as he grows older how much you so desperately tried. Sending you loads of love and hugs through the internet. Try rest, recoup and remember – when the tears come, just let them come. Hide in the shower if you just want too sit down and have alone time to grieve. xxxx

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    1. Oh that’s beautiful thank you so much! I’ve got the hugs and love & feeling your beautiful vibes☺️ I know it will hit me at some point and I think I’ll do exactly as you suggested and take some time for me. Praying with all my heart for you with FET Coming up soon 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻⭐️🌟⭐️ baby dust all the way with super huge positive vibes xxx

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  19. I am so sorry to hear this. I wish I could give you a huge hug in real life right now.

    Your son will never be lonely. He is so loved by you and that is all he will ever need. But I know that he will get so much more and you and him and your family will have the happiest of lives. I hope that the at the very least the stress of the unknown and uncertainty can now be lifted off your shoulders.

    Take care love.

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  23. Oh no, I can’t believe your journey ended this way. I’m so incredibly sorry. Please give yourself time to grieve and be kind to yourself. IVF Sucks everything out of you and you certainly have given it your all. You have been courageous and inspiring to so many women so know that this journey hasn’t been completely fruitless. By sharing your journey you have made a difference to us – please remember this.
    I have no doubt in my mind that your son will be encased in so much love throughout his life. He sounds like a lucky boy and you are indeed a great mum xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh wow, that is such a thoughtful and amazing message that brought a tear to my eye 😔 which is good. I’m really struggling to deal and I need to deal? !! Thank you so much for taking the time to write your beautiful words that helped me a lot xxxx 🌷

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  24. I am really sorry. I really feel for you and I’m sorry you won’t get the chance to complete your family in the way you had hoped. Sending love xxx

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  26. One more from me – your blog was one of the first I read when I joined here- it helped me more than I can say. Don’t stop writing – whether it’s about your wonderful child or random things – you have helped so many with your blogs and your strength xx

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  27. I’m so, so sorry Love. I know this isn’t the ending you wanted so desperately, but I agree with everyone above. Your little one is so loved, he won’t know he’s missing anything. Be extra kind to yourself, you gave it your all. <3<3<3

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      1. Ah, you’re amazing. I definitely know that instinct to keep busy – to be honest, it’s the major reason I’m blogging, as it keeps the little monkey occupied – hope you get some nice treats in for you. Sending loads of love x

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  32. oh no, my internet wasn’t working last few days and i kept thinking about you. Your such a wonderful person my friend, praying you find your peace quickly, but just cry it all out, sometimes the *why me* can really drain you. Your boy is lucky to have you as his mother, and don’t worry as everyone is saying he won’t be lonely he has you guys. *BIG HUGS*

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  34. Babes. I’m so sorry to read this. I went offline for a while to regather my composure and you were the first person I checked up on. I’m truly gutted for you. I know you will be able to get through this. To re-adapt. To re-adjust. Happiness will flourish within you fully once again. You are a strong woman and your son is blessed to have you. Sending my love to you as always from Canada and please connect with me anytime you need a shoulder. Big Hugs xoxoxoxo

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    1. Awwww you are beautiful, thank you so very much❤️. I hope you are doing ok?? I’ve been on/offline the last couple of weeks and need to catch up. Totally Right back at ya from oz🇦🇺 xxxxx ❤️🌷

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      1. Feeling good but nothing to report yet. Have our appointment to start treatments in June. So starting that next phase. Scared. Hopeful. You know how it is. Big hugs to you!! xoxoxo

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