Today I feel like I’m hanging in some kind of limbo land. Life is continuing on around me, I’m keeping my head above water, just. I can’t stop thinking about what to do next ? who to call for strength? Who to talk to? How the hell do I go through this last FET with any kind of positive attitude when my husband is DONE. I lost him at the miscarriage last year.
He was emotionally barely into the process then and the most recent one hardly at all and I know if I go again, I’m totally on my own emotionally. It’s a tough one. We are on different pages in life….he’s ready to have his life back or maybe his wife back, as I’m not sure how his life has changed since our IVF son was born 4 years ago, other than I don’t give him enough attn. I still have half hope that we would have one more child to complete our family.
Husband wants to travel again and says he’s not that keen on doing the whole baby thing again. He hit me with that news early this year. I assured him things would be different, I would try harder to do things differently and we as a couple will be ok. I had super high expectations for my mum, friends, inlaws and husband – those expectations were smashed and now I have zero & know what to expect should I be lucky enough to be a mummy agAin.
I think I need to see a cousellor, do some reiki, get my chakras cleansed, do more yoga, ask my angles and fairies and all magical beings to guide me through this next decision. I don’t want to think about it anymore, I just want this IVF journey over…. I know when I think about it I Do have the strength for one more time & I am fine (I’ll deal) with the outcome no matter what.
Having said that, how do I do this again if my husband isn’t really along for the ride????? If I don’t go ahead, the resentment might tear us apart? If I do go ahead, selfishly I know I’ve given it my best shot and you can’t ask for more than that.
Ugh that was a lot of fucking crap in my head. If you made it this far, good job!😜 this blog is purely my way to type out my emotions and get those bad boys outra my head. Having said that, the support from you girls through all your journeys has been amazing!
I think typing has helped this morning, though I’m still feeling in limbo land? Half hope, half agony…..
🦄🔮⭐️🌟💫🙏🏻🌺
It’s such an emotional time. You need time to grieve. I also totally recommend you both talk to a good councillor to get you both talking about what’s important and what direction you want life to go in. Give yourself time.. The dark clouds will lift xxx
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Thank you so much, it certainly is an emotional time….. We do really need to sit down and talk with someone and air our true thoughts so as there are no regrets! Xx
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Thinking about you during this time. The whole ivf journey is just a roller coaster with emotions on high alert. Be kind to yourself and rest. HUGS!
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Aw thank you so much. Xxx 🌺
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That must be so difficult to not be on the same page with your husband. And I’m sorry things are so tough right now. I hope you find the support that you need right now x
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It’s a little tricky yes, but I know we will figure it out. We have been together 22 years , this won’t break us ☺️ thank you so very much . I’m certainly finding support in unusual places which is truly lovely xx 🌹
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I thought I would never get through last week, it was in a deep dark hole somewhere, so I completely understand. My blog is somewhere to type out and rant about my emotions and journey too. Breath, us TTC gals can do this! xxx
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Thank you!! Yes we can do this, don’t forget to breath & take care of yourself too mate xx🌹🌟🙏🏻
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It must be so hard to feel like you’re doing this on your own. The world will wait; you cant make babies forever. I’m sure your husband understands, deep down. Obviously you don’t want to lose him, but after a long time of marriage, I doubt it’ll happen now. Hopefully you’ll be able to make time for each other and find hope again.
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Thank you that’s so lovely of you to say. We have found our way over the last couple of days to the final point and we will go ahead with the last embryo together 🙏🏻 ☺️🌺 xx
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I can only echo what everyone else has said. Try counselling if you can- I’m a big believer in this. Keep talking to your husband.. As hard as that can feel sometimes x
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Thank you lovely! Finally hubby and I have worked through our different visions & become one once more…I think 😉 xx
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aw i’m so pleased – virtual hugs to you x
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Love virtual hugs. Thank you so much xxx
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I’m so sorry you are dealing with these tough decisions. This is not anything that anyone should have to deal with, it shouldn’t have to be this way.
But I agree with everyone else. We saw a counselor and it really did help. I think it helped B understand me better when another person explained it to him and told him that it was okay that I felt that way. I was frustrated that he didn’t talk much, but I can tell now that he was definitely listening.
Good luck with your next step.
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Thank you so very much for your msg and sharing. I really appreciate it. Hubby and I have talked a lot and figured it out for one last time Xx😊🌺
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I’m so glad to read this. This will be your time!
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Thanks mate xxx 😉☺️👍🙏🏻
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So glad to hear that you found a way to talk with your hubby and you’re on the same page again. The conversations can be so difficult sometimes. Good luck on your journey, I’ll be saying a prayer for you!
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They certainly can be, thank you so much xx
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Glad you’ve worked through this with your husband. We will be cheering you on next round. Sending love x
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Thank you beautiful, we got this 😉 xxx
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Dedicated to you. Hang in there xxxxxx
https://mum100.wordpress.com/2016/03/24/whats-your-ivf-rollercoaster-ride/
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Haha that’s awesome! ☺️👍 mines the pregnancy adventure!!! Love it xxx my name is renee by the way 😉 xx
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Ah, so cool x x I’m Charlotte. Pleased to meet you Renee on your Pregnancy Adventure xxx
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Very pleased to meet you during your ovulation loop lovely Charlotte 😉😉🌺👍xxxx
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This is such a hard process and takes a HUGE toll on your relationship. My husband and I are reading a book called “Love Sense” by Dr. Sue Johnson and it is helping us see where we are lacking on our emotional connection with each other. I totally recommend it if you are up for reading! Good luck!
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Thank you, I’ll absolutely check it out. Xx😉
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