Nope 😞

FET, Frozen embreyo, Getting pregnant, IVF, Pregnancy, trying to conceive, Uncategorized, unexplained infertility

Gut was right, little embie did not stick and had a level of 15 today, it needs to be at 5 or less to fail but usually higher than 55. Fucking devestated and frustrated and feel stupid and greedy for trying for a second child. 

I have to go in Monday for another b.test to confirm, I know it’s not going to suddenly jump to positive. That’s a 2hour trip just for that and be told again.. Yep it didn’t work. 

I know I’ll be ok, I’ll allow myself time to process and re plan my next step. 

I honestly dont know what to do next..I have one frostie left… Can I do this again? Do i even have the emotional strength To deal with another and final disappointment..that’s technically 4 failed times now. When  is enough … How do I know the right decision … Should I donate my last frostie??? Considering that one is of the least highest quality, the chances of it working are less than the last 3. 

I truly understand the pain of infertility for people without any children at all, I am well aware how lucky I am. I just gotta vent. I’m sad and disappointed… 

Urgh such a Debbie downer post. I’m really not usually so blah… I promise ☺️

55 thoughts on “Nope 😞

  1. Ah, I’m really sorry to hear this. As others have said, you’re not selfish for wanting more children and it’s a disappointment and sadness whatever your situation. Sending you hugs xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So sorry to hear. The place you’re at right now is the hardest part. Do what you need to do for yourself today… I know that Tomorrow will be a little bit better and so will the day after that. Take the time to grieve. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You have every right to want another child and do choose how you want to do it. I’m so sorry to hear this news. Whatever you choose to do next is yours and your partner’s decision and it will be the right one. My thoughts are with you

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so very much for your beautiful message. Think It will just take time to get my head around it and things will work out as they should like you say, whatever decision! – however bloody frustrating it may seem at the time , I need to be patient xxx

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  4. I’m sorry. Be kind to yourself. I’m sure what your next steps are will soon become clear to you. Just because we are lucky enough to already have a child does not mean we can switch off our feelings for wanting another.(hugs)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aw that’s so true, thank you so much. Would be easier if I could switch off my heart feelings & my dream/vision that I have that I can’t ignore! If only my hubby had the same vision ?!!☺️🌟🌺 xx

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  5. Sorry to hear. Be kind to yourself and don’t beat yourself up too much! You’ll do what is right for you re the other frostie, but remember there is one more, not nothing left so you have options. Big hugs and treat yourself this weekend! PS, you’re NOT stupid or greedy for wanting a second child, you’re just normal xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so so much for your beautiful words🌺 that’s very true & there is still hope for one little lone frostie. I had a lovely day with some dear girlfriends I hadn’t seen for a while & treated myself! Xxx 🌹

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    1. Thanks mate, yeah bloody super disappointing and sad for sure. Feeling much better today thanks to your beautiful message and all the other beautiful ladies and their msgs who are going through their own tough journeys xxx🌹

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  6. The desire for motherhood is instinctive – way beyond the limits of the conscious mind. You are not choosing this greedily. You are responding to what your body and mind are asking you to do. I agree with others – be so so so kind to yourself right now. Cry when you need to. Write. Give yourself huge respect for the courage you have shown. Treat yourself to a gift. Sending lots of love.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. really sorry to hear this. I believe that everyone has the right to have the number of children that they want to have – whether its a first baby, a second, a third or more! We all know that for some its way harder than others, but all our experiences are our own, and can’t be easily compared. As others have said, by kind to yourself and allow yourself time to make any decisions. sending lots of invisible hugs your way xx

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Hey babes – gutted for you. Completely devastating. I know you’ll be able to pull through this. If you decide for one more round or not, you will be ok. You’re a strong woman. And don’t worry about feeling desperate for that second child and what that means in comparison to childless woman. Not being able to conceive is devastating and exhausting journey for all. Vent to me anytime! Keeping love for you from Canada! Big hugs my dear!! Xoxoxo

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  9. I’ve just caught up with your latest blogs… I am so sorry to read it didn’t work 😦 Thoughts are with you. You’re not greedy – not remotely. I can only echo what everyone else has said. I hope today you are feeling even just a tiny bit better. Sending virtual hugs. You are a very brave and strong women. Thoughts are with you xx

    Liked by 1 person

  10. So sorry to read your news. You know, someone recently said to me that there is no competition in the pain Olympics. So while I, like you, feel sad for those that do not have any children right now, we are still allowed to be sad about the grief we are experiencing trying to conceive our second. You have every right to feel sad and I am so sorry you are going through this. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  11. So sorry to hear about this! Mine failed, too. I found out on Saturday. It’s insanely disappointing in a very specific way that not many people can relate too. You’ll make the right decision for you. I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I have been in the boat you are in so many times for so many years…it seems like a lot of us commenters on here have. I love how we can start a little community and support group through our blogs. So many of us just don’t talk about this and it’s so hard to go through this alone and with all our fears and anguish bottled up. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I don’t think you are one bit selfish for wanting a second baby. Anyone who would say that is likely someone who has no idea what you’ve been through to get where you are. Muscling through IVF requires so much strength, sacrifice and selflessness. You have one lucky little boy to be that loved and wanted. Thinking about you and hoping that whatever y’all decide next works out just like you hope.

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